O.K., Here's what happened.
My ex worked there right around the time our baby was born. Now we already split up, and I was seeing my baby on scheduled "visit" days. (I raised her up until 3 months old because she had "post-pardum depression", but stopped because we broke up, you'll see why...) Well, she would take my baby and leave when it was my day to visit, so, understandably, I was mad. When I asked her mom (My kids grandma) about it, she told me, "She took her with her on a date. She (My baby) likes her new guy better than you, hell he might be her dad because they were seeing each other even when she was with you." (Which was the reason I left her, her mom told me she was cheating on me. I did a little checking around and found it to be true. So I ended it, feeling betrayed and humiliated.)
So after I heard all that, I went and got drunk. Well, bad idea. After stewing on it, and being really drunk, I went to her work (My friend drove me), and I let her have it, in front of customers, everyone. I was yelling "You lying whore! You don't even know if she's my kid! You cheatin ass whore!" I was beside myself. Well, I left. Then came back, and threatened every guy there (At the time I didn't know who he was, so I went after everyone.) I pulled a guy over the counter and hit him.(It wasn't him damn it.) Then I left again. Some time passed, I went there to eat, (I know, I know..) and was escorted off the property by a bunch of cops and told I was banned for life. (This all happened in a span of about a week.)
Yup, I'm a dumbass. I was hurt, pissed, and felt totally betrayed by my kids mom, but I know now thats no excuse and I was wrong. (It still felt good though and at least I didn't go to jail! Although in a way, I did feel bad for doing that and embarasing her like that. I should of went about it a different way. (Although in my defense I was 20, dealing with my health problems, and not being able to see my daughter after I practically took care of her from birth to 3 months.)
I do feel hella bad about that, I really wish I could of handled the whole thing better. The real dumbass move was believeing her mother, who basically set me up TO go off on her daughter, she would gloat and egg me on all the time, she said just about everything she could to make me hate her daughter. (She even threatened to kill me if I continued to see her, Hell, She beat her up when she was pregnant just for mentioning my name around her! Even beat her so bad she lost our first child. but that's another story for another rant.)
So there you have it. Why I was banned from In N' Out for life. I don't miss it, I never really liked their food. I only ate there to support my kids mom, and I do understand why they banned me, but still. She was wrong and they backed her. So, Fuck In N' Out Burger!!! :)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
My kinda review of Iron Man 2 (Spoilers!)
O.K. First off, this isn't a review so much as a raving of sorts. Well maybe it's a review. (Rambling?)
Anyways, Iron Man 2. Where to begin. I'd have to say it was an amazing movie. Robert Downey Jr IS Tony Stark! Through out the movie, he shined as only he could. From dealing with his impending doom to seeing the message from his father, you could feel his emotions come off perfectly! Many will point to him not being in the suit alot, but Iron Man is only a bit of the character, it's Tony's struggles that make the character whole. You never forget that Robert Downey Jr. is the star here. Not the suit.
That being said, you could say the Suit (The Iron Man suit, and other armored suits related) is the real co-star here. From it's power source killing Tony, to Whiplash creating his own version, to the Goverment and Justin Hammer wanting to obtain it, to Rhodey basically stealing it (Another head scratcher, how does he power it if it was made for Tony? How does he get so good at using it if only Tony uses it? You know, his whole arguement to the goverment?). Everyone wants the suit. Without it we wouldn't have Iron Man. But we could of used a little less "armored people" this time around. I mean come on, he fought the Iron Monger in the first one. Does he have to fight an army of cheap Iron Monger knock-offs too in 2? (Does every sequel HAVE to have more bad guys!?!) Even Whiplash seemed "generic". Although I did see a resemblance to Crimson Dynamo in his mask. He could have used a little color on that suit of his. War Machine by the way rocked! You see him come out and you KNOW, that's War Machine.
The rest of the cast really brought it this time around (and last time). Happy Hogan got more screen time and it worked out really good. Gwyneth Paltrow was her usual awesome self. Don Cheadle was actually good. Scarlett Johansson also brought it as Black Widow! (Poor Happy...) I was a little disapointed we didn't have more time with her character, she was a treat! Nick Fury seemed too blah this time around. He just didn't have that "command" he had in that little cameo in Iron Man. Also good to see Garry Shandling again, was a big fan of his old show.
Now the villians. First off, they could have used either Justin Hammer, or Whiplash as the main villian. Using both seemed like overkill. (Actually with all these characters, it did seem a little cluttered.) Mickey Rourke was awesome! Like I said, if he was the only villian, we would have been treated to more of his awesome performance and he could have pulled it off. Sam Rockwell's character, while a great addition, he was too overly acted. But even HE could of pulled off being the only villian! (With his Hammer-bots (lame)) The final fight could have been longer. (Would have been without those stupid Hammer-bots!)
Did I mention they actually showed Captian America's Shield? Well they do, and it's not like the shield you or I remember. Not a Vibranium/Adamantium mix. It's a (gasp) Tech based weapon. I know. They shit all over it. (It looks horrible too.) They do manage to "tease" the Thor movie after the credits though. Thor's hammer did not disapoint! Very cool!
Overall a great time. You have action, a good story, and awesome acting. If you follow the comics you'll see some hints at the "Demon in a Bottle" storyline as well as a possible hint at the "Armor Wars". Marvel is off to good start with Iron Man 2. Let's hope Thor and Captian America can bring it as well!
Anyways, Iron Man 2. Where to begin. I'd have to say it was an amazing movie. Robert Downey Jr IS Tony Stark! Through out the movie, he shined as only he could. From dealing with his impending doom to seeing the message from his father, you could feel his emotions come off perfectly! Many will point to him not being in the suit alot, but Iron Man is only a bit of the character, it's Tony's struggles that make the character whole. You never forget that Robert Downey Jr. is the star here. Not the suit.
That being said, you could say the Suit (The Iron Man suit, and other armored suits related) is the real co-star here. From it's power source killing Tony, to Whiplash creating his own version, to the Goverment and Justin Hammer wanting to obtain it, to Rhodey basically stealing it (Another head scratcher, how does he power it if it was made for Tony? How does he get so good at using it if only Tony uses it? You know, his whole arguement to the goverment?). Everyone wants the suit. Without it we wouldn't have Iron Man. But we could of used a little less "armored people" this time around. I mean come on, he fought the Iron Monger in the first one. Does he have to fight an army of cheap Iron Monger knock-offs too in 2? (Does every sequel HAVE to have more bad guys!?!) Even Whiplash seemed "generic". Although I did see a resemblance to Crimson Dynamo in his mask. He could have used a little color on that suit of his. War Machine by the way rocked! You see him come out and you KNOW, that's War Machine.
The rest of the cast really brought it this time around (and last time). Happy Hogan got more screen time and it worked out really good. Gwyneth Paltrow was her usual awesome self. Don Cheadle was actually good. Scarlett Johansson also brought it as Black Widow! (Poor Happy...) I was a little disapointed we didn't have more time with her character, she was a treat! Nick Fury seemed too blah this time around. He just didn't have that "command" he had in that little cameo in Iron Man. Also good to see Garry Shandling again, was a big fan of his old show.
Now the villians. First off, they could have used either Justin Hammer, or Whiplash as the main villian. Using both seemed like overkill. (Actually with all these characters, it did seem a little cluttered.) Mickey Rourke was awesome! Like I said, if he was the only villian, we would have been treated to more of his awesome performance and he could have pulled it off. Sam Rockwell's character, while a great addition, he was too overly acted. But even HE could of pulled off being the only villian! (With his Hammer-bots (lame)) The final fight could have been longer. (Would have been without those stupid Hammer-bots!)
Did I mention they actually showed Captian America's Shield? Well they do, and it's not like the shield you or I remember. Not a Vibranium/Adamantium mix. It's a (gasp) Tech based weapon. I know. They shit all over it. (It looks horrible too.) They do manage to "tease" the Thor movie after the credits though. Thor's hammer did not disapoint! Very cool!
Overall a great time. You have action, a good story, and awesome acting. If you follow the comics you'll see some hints at the "Demon in a Bottle" storyline as well as a possible hint at the "Armor Wars". Marvel is off to good start with Iron Man 2. Let's hope Thor and Captian America can bring it as well!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The Time My Buddy Got Ran Over (and lived!)
First off, he's alive, so don't think this is like, a snuf blog, or something.
Oakland, California. The Raider/49er game (1999, I think.)
My buddy Rob and I went to the Raider/49er preseason game in Oakland. Now, Rob's a 49er fan, and being in Oakland, we decided to keep that to ourselves. Until about 2 hours of tailgatin', a bottle of Hennesy, and A LOT of beer. Lets just say we were havin fun. We walk down one side of the parking lot, and see a local radio station "hyping" the crowd, yelling "Go Raiders!" and stuff like that. Then my drunk ass buddy grabs the mic and screams "49ERS!!!!" You could hear a pin drop. (I start slowly backing away..) The D.J. walks over to Rob and tells him "..damn you got balls, here's a free case of ale.." We're both like (I slowly come back...), umm...O.K.! and continue to get hammered before the game. (We ran into another friend of ours and had some Hennesy, so by this point we were stammering around all drunk!)
Now, we're in the game, and it's like right after halftime. (and hella more drinks, we know the bartender in the club in the stadium.) Rob, like forcefully stands up out of his seat, and tells me (more like slurr to me) "I'll be back". So some time passes, the game's almost over, and no Rob. I go look all over the stadium, go back to my car, which is parked in the parking lot across the freeway. No Rob. I'm like, shit! Where the hell is he? I go back to the stadium, look all over again, stop and actually puked because I was frickin' hammered too. I head back to my car and figure I'll wait and see if he just shows up. O.K., so I'm sittin' in my car, and I see the guy next to me, in a little mini-truck, trying to leave. From the looks of it, it's like he's stuck. Then he burns rubber, gets un-stuck, and takes off. During that, I hear a scream.
Right as I'm getting out a couple comes up and says "Hey that guy just got ran over!", and I'm like "I've been lookin' for him!". I go over and see if he's alright, and he is, his T-shirts on him sideways now, with his head in his sleeve, so all you see is his mouth, and it's smiling. He also had a tread mark across his chest and arm.I get him into the car and leave (I know drunk driving is incrediblly stupid, and I don't in no way endorse or approve of it.) But on the way home, still buzzin', Rob just sits up, whips his head around, and is just smilling his ass off at me, then passes back out. I'm frickin' dyin'!!! All I see is his mouth out the hole of his sleeve. (I'm still kinda drunk too.) I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard. After that I take (more like carry) him to his house and go home.
The next day I get a phone call from Rob, and he's wondering where the tread mark came from. Again, I'm dyin' laughing. He had no clue he got ran over. He told me he wandered to my car during the game, passed out on my car's hood, and (most likely, we still arn't sure) rolled off and under the truck next to my car. At first it was scarry as hell, because he could have easily been killed, but after the shock of it all, we think it's funny as hell. (Much to other people's shock.) To this day we still talk about how lucky he was, and how stupid we both used to be! (We are way more careful now.)
Oakland, California. The Raider/49er game (1999, I think.)
My buddy Rob and I went to the Raider/49er preseason game in Oakland. Now, Rob's a 49er fan, and being in Oakland, we decided to keep that to ourselves. Until about 2 hours of tailgatin', a bottle of Hennesy, and A LOT of beer. Lets just say we were havin fun. We walk down one side of the parking lot, and see a local radio station "hyping" the crowd, yelling "Go Raiders!" and stuff like that. Then my drunk ass buddy grabs the mic and screams "49ERS!!!!" You could hear a pin drop. (I start slowly backing away..) The D.J. walks over to Rob and tells him "..damn you got balls, here's a free case of ale.." We're both like (I slowly come back...), umm...O.K.! and continue to get hammered before the game. (We ran into another friend of ours and had some Hennesy, so by this point we were stammering around all drunk!)
Now, we're in the game, and it's like right after halftime. (and hella more drinks, we know the bartender in the club in the stadium.) Rob, like forcefully stands up out of his seat, and tells me (more like slurr to me) "I'll be back". So some time passes, the game's almost over, and no Rob. I go look all over the stadium, go back to my car, which is parked in the parking lot across the freeway. No Rob. I'm like, shit! Where the hell is he? I go back to the stadium, look all over again, stop and actually puked because I was frickin' hammered too. I head back to my car and figure I'll wait and see if he just shows up. O.K., so I'm sittin' in my car, and I see the guy next to me, in a little mini-truck, trying to leave. From the looks of it, it's like he's stuck. Then he burns rubber, gets un-stuck, and takes off. During that, I hear a scream.
Right as I'm getting out a couple comes up and says "Hey that guy just got ran over!", and I'm like "I've been lookin' for him!". I go over and see if he's alright, and he is, his T-shirts on him sideways now, with his head in his sleeve, so all you see is his mouth, and it's smiling. He also had a tread mark across his chest and arm.I get him into the car and leave (I know drunk driving is incrediblly stupid, and I don't in no way endorse or approve of it.) But on the way home, still buzzin', Rob just sits up, whips his head around, and is just smilling his ass off at me, then passes back out. I'm frickin' dyin'!!! All I see is his mouth out the hole of his sleeve. (I'm still kinda drunk too.) I had to pull over because I was laughing so hard. After that I take (more like carry) him to his house and go home.
The next day I get a phone call from Rob, and he's wondering where the tread mark came from. Again, I'm dyin' laughing. He had no clue he got ran over. He told me he wandered to my car during the game, passed out on my car's hood, and (most likely, we still arn't sure) rolled off and under the truck next to my car. At first it was scarry as hell, because he could have easily been killed, but after the shock of it all, we think it's funny as hell. (Much to other people's shock.) To this day we still talk about how lucky he was, and how stupid we both used to be! (We are way more careful now.)
Monday, May 3, 2010
Ranting about Fantastic Four 2, Sue Storm, and Chris Evans...
O.K. Decided to watch Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer again. Man. I'm not gonna lie, I did enjoy it a little. Seeing the Silver Surfer on the big screen was awesome. I tried to imagine Chris Evans as Captian America. Like I said, "Tried". I just can't see it. I hope it works. I do want to see the Cap movie and will because I see every comic book movie made (I'm a comic book fan, I love this stuff.). More on this in a minute. As I said, I was watching FF2 when I tried to picture our new Cap as Cap, when it dawned on me. I DID accept Jessica Alba as Sue Storm.
Now, I'm not knocking Jessica Alba as an actress. Nor am I saying she can't portray Sue Storm, because she clearly did. All I'm saying is if she were to be pulled over in AZ, she would be questioned about her legal status. Again, not a knock against her, but didn't she seem to be artificially "lightened"? After thinking about this, and watching the movie. I began to see she didn't remind me of what I thought Sue Storm to be. Which is a white woman! Again, not being racist, I myself am mexican. I'm just sayin' Sue Storm is an established, historical comic book icon. (Would you accept Will Smith as Batman? or Justin Bieber as Static Shock? Didn't think so.) My gripe isn't actually with the actor's here, but with the people that write and produce this stuff!
Are they really gonna say "Well it was my vision or interpretation of how I saw the character of Sue Storm. I felt Jessica Alba embodied the character on the inside, despite not looking like her." Or "Her acting and intimate portayal of Sue Storm led me to SEE Sue Storm and NOT Jessica Alba." Come the fuck on!!!! They were all sittin' around thinking "How can we sell this crap?", "I know, we'll put Jessica Alba in it as Sue Storm!", "Yeah!..Wait she's hispanic. Don't we have some guy named Chris Evans playing her brother? He's not hispanic.", "No worries! We'll dye her hair and give her blue contacts! Besides, she'll be in a tight costume and we'll find a way to have her in her underware! No one will care!", "We'll be rich!" Meanwhile our beloved comic gets the shit raped out of it!!! Again I'm not saying she didn't do a good job, aside from the obvious "white face", she looked great. But she was not Sue Storm. Which started to get me worried about the Captain America movie.
Imagine Chris Evans standing with (The movie versions) Thor and Iron Man. Who would you think is leading the group? Captian America has to command respect and inspire awe in those he leads. His mere presence must be THE commanding presence. Even around Thor. A FUCKING GOD! Thor would smack Iron Man around without a second thought. Thor would think twice before fucking with Cap. A FUCKING GOD!! Not a knock against Chris Evans, I liked him in The Losers. But Captian America is an entirely diferent animal. On screen, he'll be competing with Robert Downey Jr. (A rare Marvel win in terms of casting.) who'll be his usual attention grabbing self, and Chris Hemsworth who'll have the most attention grabbing abilities and story (A FUCKING GOD!!!) About now is where FF2 was ending and I saw what they passed off as Galactus. It made me cringe. Remembering what they also did to Venom, I wondered how they'll bastardize The Avengers.
Being a life long Marvel fan, I do hope it all works out and it gets done somewhat right. (The first pics from Thor look promising.) It just sucks that these great stories, what made these characters so beloved and so popular, are getting hacked to shit because the people making the movies have no idea who these characters really are. They use "Their interpretations" of the characters, or a friend who needs a job, or a money saving C-lister, or the usual "Good to look at" but horrible acting A/B lister. No one takes the time to make a movie right anymore. It's all Now, Now, Now. Let's beat Batman or Let's beat Avatar, or we have to finish it so we can put it out when this other movie comes out. (The latest is "let's put a 3D scene in it just to have a 3D scene, and we'll cut out an actual good scene to do it!") Ugh. Like I said though, I'll still go see it. I'll bitch and moan, but I'll see it. Hell, I just watched FF2 again. Despite all the crap, I still kinda enjoyed it. (Although them fucking completely screwing up Deadpool is still unforgivable in my eyes and they MUST fix that shit with a solo movie or I will fucking find whoever wrote that horrible crap and feed them to a lion.) I support them too because I'm still holding out hope they get it right eventually. To see an actual, faithful adaptation of an awesome comic. (Kick-Ass kicked ass by the way BECAUSE of that! They took a chance and made an R-rated comic book movie that was FAITHFUL! AND. IT. WORKED! But alas, it's an "indie", non-main stream comic. The big two, Marvel and DC need to take notes.) (I know, Batman Begins and Dark Knight were great, but even those held back. Think about it.)
The point of all this? It's not Jessica Alba's a horrible Sue Storm or The Avengers are doomed. It's just it would be nice for non-comic book fans to see why we comic book fans are so passionate about our comics and characters. It would be awesome for a non-comic book reader to see a completely faithful rendition of Galactus, in full glory, full view. To see it all like we comic book readers do, the REAL version. Not that crappy "cloud thingy". You would understand.
Now, I'm not knocking Jessica Alba as an actress. Nor am I saying she can't portray Sue Storm, because she clearly did. All I'm saying is if she were to be pulled over in AZ, she would be questioned about her legal status. Again, not a knock against her, but didn't she seem to be artificially "lightened"? After thinking about this, and watching the movie. I began to see she didn't remind me of what I thought Sue Storm to be. Which is a white woman! Again, not being racist, I myself am mexican. I'm just sayin' Sue Storm is an established, historical comic book icon. (Would you accept Will Smith as Batman? or Justin Bieber as Static Shock? Didn't think so.) My gripe isn't actually with the actor's here, but with the people that write and produce this stuff!
Are they really gonna say "Well it was my vision or interpretation of how I saw the character of Sue Storm. I felt Jessica Alba embodied the character on the inside, despite not looking like her." Or "Her acting and intimate portayal of Sue Storm led me to SEE Sue Storm and NOT Jessica Alba." Come the fuck on!!!! They were all sittin' around thinking "How can we sell this crap?", "I know, we'll put Jessica Alba in it as Sue Storm!", "Yeah!..Wait she's hispanic. Don't we have some guy named Chris Evans playing her brother? He's not hispanic.", "No worries! We'll dye her hair and give her blue contacts! Besides, she'll be in a tight costume and we'll find a way to have her in her underware! No one will care!", "We'll be rich!" Meanwhile our beloved comic gets the shit raped out of it!!! Again I'm not saying she didn't do a good job, aside from the obvious "white face", she looked great. But she was not Sue Storm. Which started to get me worried about the Captain America movie.
Imagine Chris Evans standing with (The movie versions) Thor and Iron Man. Who would you think is leading the group? Captian America has to command respect and inspire awe in those he leads. His mere presence must be THE commanding presence. Even around Thor. A FUCKING GOD! Thor would smack Iron Man around without a second thought. Thor would think twice before fucking with Cap. A FUCKING GOD!! Not a knock against Chris Evans, I liked him in The Losers. But Captian America is an entirely diferent animal. On screen, he'll be competing with Robert Downey Jr. (A rare Marvel win in terms of casting.) who'll be his usual attention grabbing self, and Chris Hemsworth who'll have the most attention grabbing abilities and story (A FUCKING GOD!!!) About now is where FF2 was ending and I saw what they passed off as Galactus. It made me cringe. Remembering what they also did to Venom, I wondered how they'll bastardize The Avengers.
Being a life long Marvel fan, I do hope it all works out and it gets done somewhat right. (The first pics from Thor look promising.) It just sucks that these great stories, what made these characters so beloved and so popular, are getting hacked to shit because the people making the movies have no idea who these characters really are. They use "Their interpretations" of the characters, or a friend who needs a job, or a money saving C-lister, or the usual "Good to look at" but horrible acting A/B lister. No one takes the time to make a movie right anymore. It's all Now, Now, Now. Let's beat Batman or Let's beat Avatar, or we have to finish it so we can put it out when this other movie comes out. (The latest is "let's put a 3D scene in it just to have a 3D scene, and we'll cut out an actual good scene to do it!") Ugh. Like I said though, I'll still go see it. I'll bitch and moan, but I'll see it. Hell, I just watched FF2 again. Despite all the crap, I still kinda enjoyed it. (Although them fucking completely screwing up Deadpool is still unforgivable in my eyes and they MUST fix that shit with a solo movie or I will fucking find whoever wrote that horrible crap and feed them to a lion.) I support them too because I'm still holding out hope they get it right eventually. To see an actual, faithful adaptation of an awesome comic. (Kick-Ass kicked ass by the way BECAUSE of that! They took a chance and made an R-rated comic book movie that was FAITHFUL! AND. IT. WORKED! But alas, it's an "indie", non-main stream comic. The big two, Marvel and DC need to take notes.) (I know, Batman Begins and Dark Knight were great, but even those held back. Think about it.)
The point of all this? It's not Jessica Alba's a horrible Sue Storm or The Avengers are doomed. It's just it would be nice for non-comic book fans to see why we comic book fans are so passionate about our comics and characters. It would be awesome for a non-comic book reader to see a completely faithful rendition of Galactus, in full glory, full view. To see it all like we comic book readers do, the REAL version. Not that crappy "cloud thingy". You would understand.
Friday, April 30, 2010
My first day of 1st grade.
I was recently goin through some things I've kept over the years, and found a note from my first day of school. After reading it I began to remember exactlly what it was like. (The note was from the school nurse to my mom. Which I had to give a copy to my doctor. Who wanted to put me in Home schooling after reading said note.)
The morning of my first day in first grade went well, then we went out for recess. (My first AND last as a 1st grader.) So I'm walking around, checking everything out. Then I spot some cute girls and began to "flirt" with them as I was walking by. Little did I know I was walking into the path of a kid swinging a baseball bat, WACK!, next thing I know, I'm on the ground seeing stars. Now, the first thing I'm thinking is, "Shit! Go to the nurse! I could be bleeding inside my head!" The second thing was to play it off, act like I was O.K., I mean, there were girls around! So I get up, dust myself off, walk away sayin' "I'm O.K., I'm O.K.".
WACK! I walk into a pole! I'm on the ground again, everyones laughing, Again, I get up, this time I'm woozy, I try to play it off and head to the nurses office.
Now I'm running to the front of the school (Where the nurse's office is.) I'm in the hallway rounding the corner at full speed and wouldn't you know, WACK!!, someone opens a door, smacks me in the face, I'm on the floor. By now I'm thinking, "I.HATE.SCHOOL!!". Finally, I'm in the nurses office. Ice pack on my head. Waiting for my mom to pick me up and go to the E.R. I didn't get recess until the 4th grade due to fear of me killing myself on accident. What a first day huh! (I also got in trouble at the doctor's when my doc asked me what I thought of school, my answer, (Exact words) Fuck School!)
The morning of my first day in first grade went well, then we went out for recess. (My first AND last as a 1st grader.) So I'm walking around, checking everything out. Then I spot some cute girls and began to "flirt" with them as I was walking by. Little did I know I was walking into the path of a kid swinging a baseball bat, WACK!, next thing I know, I'm on the ground seeing stars. Now, the first thing I'm thinking is, "Shit! Go to the nurse! I could be bleeding inside my head!" The second thing was to play it off, act like I was O.K., I mean, there were girls around! So I get up, dust myself off, walk away sayin' "I'm O.K., I'm O.K.".
WACK! I walk into a pole! I'm on the ground again, everyones laughing, Again, I get up, this time I'm woozy, I try to play it off and head to the nurses office.
Now I'm running to the front of the school (Where the nurse's office is.) I'm in the hallway rounding the corner at full speed and wouldn't you know, WACK!!, someone opens a door, smacks me in the face, I'm on the floor. By now I'm thinking, "I.HATE.SCHOOL!!". Finally, I'm in the nurses office. Ice pack on my head. Waiting for my mom to pick me up and go to the E.R. I didn't get recess until the 4th grade due to fear of me killing myself on accident. What a first day huh! (I also got in trouble at the doctor's when my doc asked me what I thought of school, my answer, (Exact words) Fuck School!)
The time I escaped Day Care.
I used to go to this day care when I was 3. (Well, it was more this lady's house, she ran a day care out of it.) When the kids were bad she had this thing she called a "spanking spoon" which was a big plastic spoon she used to spank us when we were bad. (Which would be considered child abuse today, but it was the 80's then.) Well, I didn't like the spanking spoon, or the lady. So, being the little genius I was at that point in my life (I could read AND write at 3), I waited for nap time, wrote a note saying "I'm going home" and snuck out of the day care, and walked home. (Which was down the street, not like across town.) Anyways, my mom goes to pick me up from day care, her and the lady see the note, flip out, and find me sitting on my steps to my house.(I did say I was going home!) I got in trouble. But I didn't have to back to day care! The day care lady wouldn't take me back. I apparently scared the crap out of her.
The next few weeks I was enroled in kindergarden, and found what recess was. I liked it so much, I didn't go back to class, Yup, I cut class in kindergarden. (I did write a note and gave it to another kid to give to my teacher saying I wasn't coming back to class, but I guess I didn't have a choice BUT to come back to class.) In the next few months, I was skipped to the 1st grade (and had my recess taken away, for another reason (Health issues).) So began my entry into the life of a school kid. Which, wasn't so good.....
The next few weeks I was enroled in kindergarden, and found what recess was. I liked it so much, I didn't go back to class, Yup, I cut class in kindergarden. (I did write a note and gave it to another kid to give to my teacher saying I wasn't coming back to class, but I guess I didn't have a choice BUT to come back to class.) In the next few months, I was skipped to the 1st grade (and had my recess taken away, for another reason (Health issues).) So began my entry into the life of a school kid. Which, wasn't so good.....
This is Me!
Yup, 33 years later and still no clue on exactly what is I have. I'm what's called, a Hemophiliac. I have a rare form of Hemophilia similar to Von Willibrands disease, Ward's Syndrome, and Platlet Disorder, all rolled into one thing. (There's still no name for it.) Over the years I've had my blood tested and shipped around the world to get some more info on it. So far, very little has been found out. What I do know is that this blood disorder causes me to have internel bleeding. This happens with various degrees of trauma, or just out of the blue. These are called spontainious bleeds. I used to get them when I was very young, but now I'm getting them again. To combat these bleeds I used to have to get Platlet tranfusions, where over a 4 hour period, I would have about 4 to 6 bags of platlets I.V.'d into me. But, over the years, and over the cours of many bleeds, I've become immune to them. Now I have this at home transfusion kit called Noro 7 (NovoSeven is a recombinant factor VII. It is a vitamin K-dependent gycosylated serine protease proenzyme), which I have to use sparringly so I don't build a tollerance to that too. (Update, I now take NovoSeven RT, A new treatment because my old one began to not agree with me.) Along with the bleeds, this blood disorder also causes my immune system to act all wacky from time to time, getting me sick alot. In addtion, I can't take most over the counter and prescription drugs because of bad side-affects to them. It was also once thought I'd grow out of it and the blood disorder would be less harmful to me. But again, they were wrong. It seems to be getting worse, not better.
This was discovered when I was almost 2 years old due to heavy brusing on my hands and knees from trying to crawl as a baby. (They thought my mom beat me, funny.) After a bunch of testing, they found out I was actually born with it. My childhood was affected by it alot. I couldn't go out and play with the other kids, I didn't have recess in school, I wasn't allowed to play sports. Even with all that protection, I still got hurt, and still got bleeds. I used to think I lived at Childrens' Hospital in Oakland, and I just came home to visit my parents. (I to this day still like hospital food!) I was the boy in the proverbial bubble. When I was finally let out a little, I took full advantage of it and got into things I shouldn't have. But, hey, I was a kid. I didn't really know the gravity of the situation, until I was about 8 or 9. I overheard my doctors say I'd be lucky to live to see 16. I confronted them of course, they said I heard them wrong. That left me feeling like I couldn't trust them or my parents. It really screwed up my head alot. On top of that, I had to deal with everyday kid stuff. Getting bullied and picked on. (I couldn't fight back then because one hit, I could've been dead.) Getting teased because I was a "freak". For the most part, I went through school without anybody really knowing what I had. (There's still people that don't know.) Everyone just thought I was this shy, quiet kid. When really I was quiet because I was in frickin' pain! I remember to help me fit in, my parents sent me to a Hemophiliac camp, but even there, I was a freak! The other kids couldn't really relate to me because my form of hemophilia was different than theirs. Although in high school (and jr. high) I did find a group of friends that were really my friends and I let them know about my blood disorder (sort of, they found out because I had car accident and I HAD to tell them.) They're still my friends to this day. (More like family, I love them all!) Being an adult with this is hard too. All my friends have these really good hard-working jobs. But due to the injuries I've had, and the fact that I can't have surgery to fix them. (The last major surgery I had was for my tonsils, I woke up to priest reading me my "Last rites".) My working days are pretty much over. (Of course people give me shit because I don't work, but until they have what I have they just need to shut the fuck up!) So I do have regrets, but hey! You have to move on. Now, I'm 33. In a way, I feel a little bit of victory because I am still here. I've had the best and worst luck with this. I'm still going to doctor's all the time. They're still trying to find ways to help me too. (Unsuccessfully) But the stuff that doesn't work on me, sometimes works on other kids with bleeding disorders, so, at least their research helps some people.
Well, in a nutshell, that's the life-threatening, unknown, bleeding disorder I was born with, that will almost surely kill me. Dramatic, Yes. Does it bother me? Sort of. Remember, I had to deal with this all my life. I'm kinda of used to it. (Plus I'm pretty sure I've lost a bit of my sanity over the years due to all the pain (and other things) I've dealt with, I just flat out don't care anymore.) (Sort of.)
The funny thing is, I'm actually happy. In the face of my impending doom, a part of me is sad because I'll never have that normal life I've always wanted, but a part of me is kinda glad to be done with all this. (As morbid as that sounds.) I don't want pitty or condolences, Hell, I don't even want to be understood. I don't think anybody could ever really understand. This is just me getting some stuff off my chest, before I can't anymore.
*Update* After reading this I found it sounds kind of like a suicide note. Don't worry, it's not. (It's actually the beginning of my very own snazzy blog!)
This was discovered when I was almost 2 years old due to heavy brusing on my hands and knees from trying to crawl as a baby. (They thought my mom beat me, funny.) After a bunch of testing, they found out I was actually born with it. My childhood was affected by it alot. I couldn't go out and play with the other kids, I didn't have recess in school, I wasn't allowed to play sports. Even with all that protection, I still got hurt, and still got bleeds. I used to think I lived at Childrens' Hospital in Oakland, and I just came home to visit my parents. (I to this day still like hospital food!) I was the boy in the proverbial bubble. When I was finally let out a little, I took full advantage of it and got into things I shouldn't have. But, hey, I was a kid. I didn't really know the gravity of the situation, until I was about 8 or 9. I overheard my doctors say I'd be lucky to live to see 16. I confronted them of course, they said I heard them wrong. That left me feeling like I couldn't trust them or my parents. It really screwed up my head alot. On top of that, I had to deal with everyday kid stuff. Getting bullied and picked on. (I couldn't fight back then because one hit, I could've been dead.) Getting teased because I was a "freak". For the most part, I went through school without anybody really knowing what I had. (There's still people that don't know.) Everyone just thought I was this shy, quiet kid. When really I was quiet because I was in frickin' pain! I remember to help me fit in, my parents sent me to a Hemophiliac camp, but even there, I was a freak! The other kids couldn't really relate to me because my form of hemophilia was different than theirs. Although in high school (and jr. high) I did find a group of friends that were really my friends and I let them know about my blood disorder (sort of, they found out because I had car accident and I HAD to tell them.) They're still my friends to this day. (More like family, I love them all!) Being an adult with this is hard too. All my friends have these really good hard-working jobs. But due to the injuries I've had, and the fact that I can't have surgery to fix them. (The last major surgery I had was for my tonsils, I woke up to priest reading me my "Last rites".) My working days are pretty much over. (Of course people give me shit because I don't work, but until they have what I have they just need to shut the fuck up!) So I do have regrets, but hey! You have to move on. Now, I'm 33. In a way, I feel a little bit of victory because I am still here. I've had the best and worst luck with this. I'm still going to doctor's all the time. They're still trying to find ways to help me too. (Unsuccessfully) But the stuff that doesn't work on me, sometimes works on other kids with bleeding disorders, so, at least their research helps some people.
Well, in a nutshell, that's the life-threatening, unknown, bleeding disorder I was born with, that will almost surely kill me. Dramatic, Yes. Does it bother me? Sort of. Remember, I had to deal with this all my life. I'm kinda of used to it. (Plus I'm pretty sure I've lost a bit of my sanity over the years due to all the pain (and other things) I've dealt with, I just flat out don't care anymore.) (Sort of.)
The funny thing is, I'm actually happy. In the face of my impending doom, a part of me is sad because I'll never have that normal life I've always wanted, but a part of me is kinda glad to be done with all this. (As morbid as that sounds.) I don't want pitty or condolences, Hell, I don't even want to be understood. I don't think anybody could ever really understand. This is just me getting some stuff off my chest, before I can't anymore.
*Update* After reading this I found it sounds kind of like a suicide note. Don't worry, it's not. (It's actually the beginning of my very own snazzy blog!)
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